Living Purpose Institute

Join Living Purpose Institute Login Existing Members

complimentary life coaching session.

805-469-9847, patrick@magicofthesoul.com

Dreading Holiday Gatherings?

by Patrick J. Harbula

Are you getting together with members of your family of origin for the holidays this year? Did you come from a family that was dysfunctional in any way? Do you have any ongoing rifts between you and one or more of your family members? If you answered no to any of these questions, then disregard this column. If you answered yes to all of them, then read these helpful tips and make this the best holiday season ever.

  1. Expect things to be different: I don’t mean that you should get caught up or attached to an expectation of your more challenging relatives changing completely, but simply going into your holiday get-together embracing the possibility that if you change your beliefs about your relatives that they may respond differently to you. We tend to create ongoing relationship friction by expecting people to be the same as they were years ago when we knew them best. Everyone grows (at least to some degree), and if we are open to experiencing the changes in others, we change our expectation. I have had countless clients and students have absolutely miraculous results practicing this simple strategy. They couldn’t believe how much those other people had changed (in reality it was their own change that inspired a different interaction with their loved ones).
  2. Respond differently: If your family members treat you the same as they have in the past, even after embracing an alternate expectation, respond differently than you have in the past. For example: If your mother or father start to push your childhood buttons by lecturing, criticizing, or somehow making you feel embarrassed, remember that they aren’t only your parents, they are people with insecurities and fears just like everyone else. We will not be treated by our parents (or anyone else for that matter) as adults until we stop reacting the way we did when we were children. If you feel criticized you could communicate that without getting into the defensiveness. Or if you have particularly forceful and relentless relatives, simply say, “I would prefer to talk about something more positive.” Don’t give people the opportunity to draw you into old dynamics that you are no longer willing to participate in.
  3. Decide to be proactive: When we react negatively to the faults of others, we only trigger stronger expression of those faults. When we recognize that we can be proactive rather than reactive, then we help to encourage the strengths in others. When we respond from our strongest, most compassionate selves, we recognize the weaknesses in everyone as an opportunity to shed light on those imperfections. Great teachers and compassionate leaders see imperfection as an opportunity to serve rather than something to turn away from. We can emulate such teachers as Mother Theresa and Gandhi by being proactive.
  4. Visualize what you want: We can greatly affect the outcome of any event or experience by having a clear image of what we want to occur. This is a simple but profound technique used by athletes and successful men and women in every field. Everything that is created or realized begins as an image (conscious or unconscious). The clearer and brighter your image, the greater affect it will have on the outcome. Simply sit down, close your eyes and visualize the ideal holiday celebration. If images don’t come easy to you, then imagine what the ideal holiday would feel like. Include your sense of smell and touch as well, which is especially helpful with holidays involving great food.
  5. Take responsibility: A great deal of conflict results from the practice of blaming others. While we can’t be responsible for everything that occurs in a relationship, we can take responsibility four our side of any conflict and for our response to what is not our responsibility. Many people don’t want to take responsibility because they confuse it with self-blame. They don’t want to be wrong because they tend to self-criticize. Of course we won’t take responsibility if it feels so lousy. Blaming throws power away. Responsibility generates power from within. Blame denotes fault. Responsibility denotes responsible action. It means that with the understanding I now have, I will do everything I can to make certain that this action or occurrence doesn’t happen again. It doesn’t mean that I will feel bad and guilty for what I have done in the past.

For a complimentary life coaching session.

Call: 805-469-9847

Living Purpose Institute

2593 Young Avenue Thousand Oaks, CA 91360

Email: patrick@magicofthesoul.com

Testimonial

Sage Publications is a world-renowned academic publisher that has grown from a 32-million dollar company to over 100 million in 15 years.

I fully believe that we could not have accomplished the success in our organizational goals that we have realized without the guidance and leadership from Patrick Harbula.

--Blaise SimquPresident, Sage Publications

5.0
2017-08-07T11:03:01+00:00

--Blaise SimquPresident, Sage Publications

Sage Publications is a world-renowned academic publisher that has grown from a 32-million dollar company to over 100 million in 15 years. I fully believe that we could not have accomplished the success in our organizational goals that we have realized without the guidance and leadership from Patrick Harbula.
A valuable day of focus and encouragement. Since the LPI training, my position at the job I already loved has completely shifted to come into alignment with my clearer sense of purpose.

--Molly Rockey, Nationwide Director of Volunteer Services, ALS Foundation

5.0
2017-08-07T11:04:14+00:00

--Molly Rockey, Nationwide Director of Volunteer Services, ALS Foundation

A valuable day of focus and encouragement. Since the LPI training, my position at the job I already loved has completely shifted to come into alignment with my clearer sense of purpose.
Learning that what was missing in my childhood is a gift that contributes to my life purpose, helped me identify how to change some of my patterns. I got my money's worth by lunchtime!

--Ted KalalReliability Engineer and Author of Improving Product Reliability

5.0
2017-08-07T11:15:09+00:00

--Ted KalalReliability Engineer and Author of Improving Product Reliability

Learning that what was missing in my childhood is a gift that contributes to my life purpose, helped me identify how to change some of my patterns. I got my money's worth by lunchtime!
Patrick Harbula's appearance at our Center was a phenomenal success. It was the largest turnout and MOST PROFITABLE we have had for a workshop since I have been the minister here. We had standing room only for the Sunday service and 78 participants in the paid workshop. Patrick also dropped in and co-facilitated the class we were doing on his book The Magic of the Soul, and the students raved about the experience. Patrick's office secured a lot of publicity on their own including a national radio show that brought many new people to the center. Six months later people are still talking about their experiences with Patrick.

 

-- Reverend Patrick Cameron, Center for Spiritual Awareness, Edmonton

5.0
2017-08-07T11:22:33+00:00

-- Reverend Patrick Cameron, Center for Spiritual Awareness, Edmonton

Patrick Harbula's appearance at our Center was a phenomenal success. It was the largest turnout and MOST PROFITABLE we have had for a workshop since I have been the minister here. We had standing room only for the Sunday service and 78 participants in the paid workshop. Patrick also dropped in and co-facilitated the class we were doing on his book The Magic of the Soul, and the students raved about the experience. Patrick's office secured a lot of publicity on their own including a national radio show that brought many new people to the center. Six months later people are still talking about their experiences with Patrick.  
We had Patrick Harbula at the Center for Spiritul Living Princeton, and my community loved him and his workshop. He spoke at my service, and he was warm and welcoming. His workshop later that day was extremely well attended and financially very profitable! In his workshop, he focused on one's Divine Purpose and gave wonderful tools for everyone to continue working on their purpose and goal-setting. Patrick is also VERY generous.

I am offering the former ICSL accredited course, Magic of the Soul, using Patrick's book and curriculum next term, and his workshop was a great kick-off for that class. I may have to add an additional class (for the first time) because the interest in that class is so strong. In short, I highly recommend Patrick to come to you, both as a speaker, workshop facilitator, and a wonderful colleague. He is a dear man and friend.

-- Rev. Dr. Karen Kushner, Senior Minister, Center for Spiritual Living Princeton

5.0
2017-08-07T11:23:49+00:00

-- Rev. Dr. Karen Kushner, Senior Minister, Center for Spiritual Living Princeton

We had Patrick Harbula at the Center for Spiritul Living Princeton, and my community loved him and his workshop. He spoke at my service, and he was warm and welcoming. His workshop later that day was extremely well attended and financially very profitable! In his workshop, he focused on one's Divine Purpose and gave wonderful tools for everyone to continue working on their purpose and goal-setting. Patrick is also VERY generous. I am offering the former ICSL accredited course, Magic of the Soul, using Patrick's book and curriculum next term, and his workshop was a great kick-off for that class. I may have to add an additional class (for the first time) because the interest in that class is so strong. In short, I highly recommend Patrick to come to you, both as a speaker, workshop facilitator, and a wonderful colleague. He is a dear man and friend.
I was so excited when I first heard that Patrick Harbula had given his consent for ICSL to use The Magic of the Soul as part of our 200 series for Science of Mind classes. I found the curriculum well suited to bring out the best in a group. It is inspiring and fun for both teacher and students. My class particularly appreciated the guided exercises on the accompanying CD.

-- Dr. Candice Becket , Previous President Centers for Spiritual Living

5.0
2017-08-07T11:25:28+00:00

-- Dr. Candice Becket , Previous President Centers for Spiritual Living

I was so excited when I first heard that Patrick Harbula had given his consent for ICSL to use The Magic of the Soul as part of our 200 series for Science of Mind classes. I found the curriculum well suited to bring out the best in a group. It is inspiring and fun for both teacher and students. My class particularly appreciated the guided exercises on the accompanying CD.
Patrick Harbula was a delight to have at our Center. A total professional but with the graces that go beyond the requirement. He created rapport with my congregation the moment he opened his mouth. His teaching was clear and my congregation responded beautifully to him, his workshop and his Sunday lesson. Great reviews did come from his workshop. Thank you Patrick for the work that you are doing. And to the field, inviting this man in to your Center is a great idea. Patarick has a beautiful consciousness and is a man of Principle and demonstration.

-- Michelle Wadleigh, Spiritual Director, Center for Spiritual Living North Jersey

5.0
2017-08-07T11:26:36+00:00

-- Michelle Wadleigh, Spiritual Director, Center for Spiritual Living North Jersey

Patrick Harbula was a delight to have at our Center. A total professional but with the graces that go beyond the requirement. He created rapport with my congregation the moment he opened his mouth. His teaching was clear and my congregation responded beautifully to him, his workshop and his Sunday lesson. Great reviews did come from his workshop. Thank you Patrick for the work that you are doing. And to the field, inviting this man in to your Center is a great idea. Patarick has a beautiful consciousness and is a man of Principle and demonstration.
We had the Rev. Patrick Harbula at our Center last month for his workshop "Busting Loose From The Money Game". He did a NorthEast tour and taught at several Centers in the area. It was a great event. Patrick is clear, authentic, inspiring and open hearted. He brought something fresh and new and yet, deeply steeped in our teaching. I felt inspired by his presentation. I highly recommend him for an event at your centers.

-- Rev. Frankie Timmers, Senior Minister, Center for Spiritual Living Morristown

5.0
2017-08-07T11:28:02+00:00

-- Rev. Frankie Timmers, Senior Minister, Center for Spiritual Living Morristown

We had the Rev. Patrick Harbula at our Center last month for his workshop "Busting Loose From The Money Game". He did a NorthEast tour and taught at several Centers in the area. It was a great event. Patrick is clear, authentic, inspiring and open hearted. He brought something fresh and new and yet, deeply steeped in our teaching. I felt inspired by his presentation. I highly recommend him for an event at your centers.
Patrick brings a unique energy to his presentations, workshops, and meditations, and I always receive the highest praise for from our misters, practitioners, and congregants. Patrick has a certain magnetism that inspires and draws people to receive the wisdom gained from his vast experience in metaphysical studies, the ministry, and corporate success. His Busting Loose from the Money Game class last year was the second largest class we had for the year at our Center. I heartily endorse him for any spiritual community looking to create a positive spiritual experience for its members.

-- Dr. Jim Lockard, Director Center for Spritual Living, Simi Valley and author of Sacred Thinking.

5.0
2017-08-07T11:29:23+00:00

-- Dr. Jim Lockard, Director Center for Spritual Living, Simi Valley and author of Sacred Thinking.

Patrick brings a unique energy to his presentations, workshops, and meditations, and I always receive the highest praise for from our misters, practitioners, and congregants. Patrick has a certain magnetism that inspires and draws people to receive the wisdom gained from his vast experience in metaphysical studies, the ministry, and corporate success. His Busting Loose from the Money Game class last year was the second largest class we had for the year at our Center. I heartily endorse him for any spiritual community looking to create a positive spiritual experience for its members.
. . . . I have had the opportunity to see the benefits of his work when he has presented his seminars at OneSpirit Center for Conscious Living on several occasions. . . . Patrick has a rich background of training in New Thought, meditation, spiritual psychology, and corporate success. I consider him to be a selfless mystic who extends himself from his heart. By my observation, that’s Patrick’s strongest quality—he has the ability to open people’s hearts at a deep and most authentic level. His lectures are strongly based on New Thought principles and his workshops are a place where healings happen. I am honored to know Patrick, consider him a friend, and am especially pleased to be one of the facilitators in the Life Coaching Certification Program through his organization, The Living Purpose Institute.

-- Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones, Previously Director of the Simi Valley Center for Conscious Living and author of Speaking Religious Science, The Art of Being and The Art of Uncertainty.

5.0
2017-08-07T11:30:22+00:00

-- Dr. Dennis Merritt Jones, Previously Director of the Simi Valley Center for Conscious Living and author of Speaking Religious Science, The Art of Being and The Art of Uncertainty.

. . . . I have had the opportunity to see the benefits of his work when he has presented his seminars at OneSpirit Center for Conscious Living on several occasions. . . . Patrick has a rich background of training in New Thought, meditation, spiritual psychology, and corporate success. I consider him to be a selfless mystic who extends himself from his heart. By my observation, that’s Patrick’s strongest quality—he has the ability to open people’s hearts at a deep and most authentic level. His lectures are strongly based on New Thought principles and his workshops are a place where healings happen. I am honored to know Patrick, consider him a friend, and am especially pleased to be one of the facilitators in the Life Coaching Certification Program through his organization, The Living Purpose Institute.
5.0
10
All Copyright © 2017 Living Purpose Institute / Privacy Policy
Go Top